Domestic disturbance? Stalkers? Cannibals in your backyard? Assaulted by italics? Neighbor setting his kid on fire? Again? Just post a 911 call to this community and we'll get an officer out there ASAP! (Or whenever. We've got a lot of ground to cover, and the pay is crap.) Restrictions apply.*
* Gods, balrogs, and dragons are exempt from MEPD authority. Officers will not respond to domestic disturbance calls from Bag End. Child Welfare is handled by Services. Offer not good in Mother Rohan -- they're all fucking nuts there.